What's the point?

I love how my world gets to revolve around the pursuit of knowledge, and in the background, I continuously question for what purpose?

When I was in my last semester of student teaching, I remember our TA always asking us to question why we were teaching, what we were teaching, and how we were teaching.  I became so frustrated with him because his questioning was not applicable to my 'here and now'.  That kind of thinking served no point for the student teacher...I remember challenging him, saying something like 'he was asking us to question how we ran before we could even walk.'  I just wanted to know how to make a bunch of 17 year olds listen to me and hopefully learn something.

Now I get it.  I am in a place and time where that makes sense.  I taught high school for six years.  I taught preschool movement classes for a year (somedays, toddlers are just like sophomores, and vice versa).  I was the teen director at our YMCA.  Now, I work at a technical college, helping adults to get their GED or HSED. 

All of this experience truly leads me to 'what's the point?'  I see the adults I work with struggle with finding the area of a triangle, both of us knowing, for a fact this time, that they will never again use this in the real world.  Is it the struggle that earns you the right to say that you graduated from high school?
As adults, they are still cramming and regurgitating for a piece of paper, fulling knowing the futility of the exercise. 

 I am fortunate enough to home school our two kiddos.  Seeing what ultimately is supposed to be the outcome of a high school education gives me a sneak peek of what traditional schooling holds out there for the basic requirements to send one out into the world.
The most precious thing about my children's learning is their love of learning, without labeling it.  Kind of Taoist...don't label it, categorize it; it just is what it is.

Now I find myself doing the delicate tightrope walk of not only maintaining that love of learning, but balancing it with life, liberty, and the pursuit of property.  (Sorry, we're studying the Constitution.)

It would be criminal for me to crush their spirits.  Somewhere, that happened to every single adult that I work with at MPTC.  I hear how they hate to read, hate math, what's the point?

Leads me to even more questions, what, ultimately is the point?  Now that my children and I can walk together, I am questioning, only 15 years after student teaching, how can we run together.  And I don't want them to ever have a finish line...

Back to School

I ended up taking the summer off from blogging, didn't mean to, but as the air grows cooler, I find myself back in an academic frame of mind.  (Today it's in the mid-80's in Wisconsin, but it was cooler before, summer's hanging on, and that's okay with me.)

It's so cliche to say that summer "flew by", but there is something about unplanned days that unfold to include watermelon, swimming, and late nights of Harry Potter movies  that just make the sand go through the glass at an alarming rate.

I usually cringe at the end of summer, but since we started home schooling, it's another exciting phase of our lives. 
I don't mind the shift to a routine after lackadaisical summer, but it's because I have one that I appreciate the other. 
We officially started our school last Monday.  Our recent family trip to Washington DC encouraged us to up the ante.  I found it fascinating to see how our founding fathers loved to learn.  How in the Smithsonian's exhibit about Lincoln, it said he was "home schooled".  Now I am not naive; I know that he was in a log cabin, and he probably did not home school by choice, but his passion for learning never wained.  Walking through Jefferson's library in the Library of Congress, here was a man whose quest and purpose in life was to learn everything about everything. 

Side note, at a store yesterday, I saw all of those inane shirts for kids that say things about how they would rather be playing video games as opposed to doing homework...wonder how that follows the dreams our founders had for this nation....

So, our family found inspiration in the largest sense this summer...the kids have lofty goals for themselves, and Tony and I are here to help them along the way.  Why would anyone sell their children short with curtailing their possiblities?  Cherry Street school is now in session...

Where Everybody Knows Your Name

I came to a very cool realization today.  My children are known quantities at the local library and the locally owned book store.  Dominic and Sophia are familiar faces in places that bring both joy and knowledge.

It gives me great satisfaction to see my seven year old son greet members of his community with a smile, to see his ease at getting in line, alone, to ask a question.  My kiddos have no problem with asking questions.  (When I asked a question at a cooking demo this past weekend, my husband remarked, 'so that's where they get it from...')
I love that they feel that they own a voice within their community.  They have their own individual identity in the eyes of adults and kids alike. 

Both Dominic and Sophia have become friends in their own right with people at the book store and library.  Their friends, adults, know what book series the kids love, enough to recommend other books and authors.  Today, at the bookstore, Sophia struck up a conversation with a young girl about a favorite author.  To watch the ease with which these two girls, complete strangers, developed a rapport together, it really filled my heart.  Watching the ease of their social interactions is especially fufilling to me because I worried that our kids wouldn't be 'socialized' properly with our choice to homeschool.  Now I can just laugh at the ridiculousness of that...

A man approached Dominic at the library, or I should say he approached the top of Dom's head as it was buried in a book.  "You like reading?  I think it's boring."  The man, in his futile effort to be "cool" with a kid, obviously picked the wrong one.  No worries though, Dominic didn't hear him; he was too busy reading.

Summer Daze

Summer reminds me why I love Wisconsin; it's February that makes me quickly forget.  Wisconsin people are so wonderfully kind all year round, as a gross generalization, but in summer, it's as if we are all children again.

Today the family, myself included, went to a book festival.  I have to say it warms my heart that my kiddos get as excited about books as they do ice cream, and that is pretty excited. (sidethought-what if a small, white truck drove around the 'hood, playing obnoxiously loud music and handing out books?  I think Dominic would seriously spontaneously combust)

ANYway, some of you might remember that I was bestowed with the great honor of being one of the "Lousiest Chefs in SE Wisconsin".  http://www.jsonline.com/features/food/89950112.html
(Dom still calls it the 'dirtiest chef', which sounds really bad)
Well, today,that 'Lousy Chef' was front row at the cooking demos thank you very much!  Wisconsin Veggies and Herbs are now my friends!  I got this really groovy book too:

Nancy Stohs, the wonderful reporter that chronicled the 'before' and 'after' of the Lousy Chefs, namely myself and a gentleman named George, kindly warned me that there could be a follow up down the road to see my progress, or lack thereof.
Well, we now belong to a CSA, Wellspring, http://www.wellspringinc.org/, we have our own garden, and I even made the famous Bartollotta's Spinach lasagna for two other families.  If all else fails, I will heavily bribe my family when we get the call...:)

Just imagine what I can do when our oven gets fixed!  (that is a tale for a different time)

Final thought-the peeps and I went camping at Mauthe Lake last weekend and had a fantastic time with many friends.  That has always been a dream of mine, to go camping with the kids, beyond the backyard.  To wake up to blue sky and majestic pine trees, what a gift. 

Thanks for reading, and I wish you joyous summer days in tents, gardens, hammocks, and loving arms. 
Be well!

Home Alone

My kiddos are at a sleepover, Tony is doing the soccer thing until later tonight, so unless you count 2 Weims,

I AM HOME ALONE!

But in case you are a serial killer, my Weims are trained to kill.

If you are wondering why this is a big deal, well, I guess it's because it doesn't happen all that often, and that is okay with me.  Does that make me a better mom than someone who goes out more?  No.  Does that make me weird?  No.  It is what it is.

It's always a delicate balancing act isn't it, taking care of people while taking care of oneself.  I am reading an interesting book, raising HAPPINESS by Christine Carter Ph.D.

                                                          

 

The first chapter is called "Put on your own oxygen mask first" and starts with the following quote from Carl Jung: "Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically...on children that the unlived life of a parent."

                                                     

Wow.  I guess I am trying to be there for my peeps, including my dashing hubby, while at the same time I am trying to be there for myself, just like everyone else.  (Quote from Yoda now in my head: "Do or do not; there is no try." Yoda kinda looks like Jung...)

                                                       

I am doing well with oxygen.  I really feel like I am at a time in my life where I have stronger bonds with other women than I have ever had.  I value those friendships tremendously.  I am at the point too where I don't need a lot of acquaintances.  It's easy to tell if I am on the same wavelength as someone else or not.  If not, no worries, but for others, it's as if we are of the same karass (Vonnegut's Cat's Cradle) the moment we meet.

I love my husband more everyday.  Sometimes, I feel as if I am just playing house with my best friend.  These children in our house are now full blown individuals with passions, moods, attitudes of their very own.  And we made them.  How crazy is that?  It's pretty amazing that I get to spend time with these people.  I have to remind myself from time to time that they are lucky to be spending time with me too.  :)

The world would be a happier place if we were less concerned about everyone else, in terms of judging or gossiping, and more concerned with ourselves and what we bring to the table.  I love the quote from the recently passed John Wooden:

"Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are."

                                                     

And now, since you are not judging me, I am going to eat some cookie dough and go for a run, in that order.

Be well.

J

Sweet Life

"What do you miss most about being 5 years old?"

Rainn Wilson asks this question on his website www.soulpancake.com.

I can only reason that at the heart of this question must be that whatever we answer, why can't we have that back as an adult? 

There is that joke about the adult and the kid in the candy store.  The kid wants all of the candy, but doesn't have the money.  The adult says sarcastically, "The sad thing is kid, when you have all the money, you don't want all the candy."

What do you miss most about being 5 years old?  What's stopping you from being that way again?

Hello!

This weekend our family went to the WPA convention at UW-Oshkosh.  (WPA-Wisconsin Parents' Association, is a homeschooling group.)  Last year I went with a friend and left Tony and the kiddos at home.  This year, the four of us went as a family.

WPA kind of feels like camp to me.  You know how at a summer camp, you can 'let your hair down' and just be yourself?  Here we are, with hundreds of other homeschoolers, at camp.  There is a common understanding that is woven through our interactions.  You see many adopted children, many smiling faces, many multigenerational groups, teenagers hugging their parents in public, a lot of babies in slings, and a ton of laughter and energy (except maybe in line at the used book sale at 6:45 AM, pre-coffee).

My first year at the convention, the thing that made the biggest impression on me, outside of all of the workshops, was how the children said 'hello' to the adults when passing by.  No big deal right?  But it is.  Again this year, this simple act of greeting by someone younger than me that I did not know made such an impact.  Whether it was a 4 year old, or a teen, when walking by, children make eye contact with you as an adult and say, 'hello!'.  Wild.

As someone who works with teens, this is not all that common.  When I say hello to teens in the Y, they look surprised that I would even greet them, let alone "see" them, if I am not yelling at them for something.  Quite often, we as adults, prefer to look the other way when walking past a group of teenagers.  And for some reason, the social fabric of the teen world would get them days if not months of teasing if they broke that unwritten code of "Don't look, don't talk" to an adult passerby, or even a new peer...We miss out on so many possible friendships, mentorships, interactions because of fear on both sides of the sidewalk.  I would say the same is true for younger children.  We may not be fearful of them as we are of teens, but more often, as a society we just don't give them credit for being their own individuals.  A darker side of that is we might be fearful to say hello to children because we are strangers, and I sadly get that. 

Dominic, Sophia and I went to a workshop called, "What parents get out of homeschooling".  We walked in late, and joined a circle of about ten people, nine of whom were adults.  A girl of about six colored on the floor in the middle of the circle.   I think a misconception that is out there about homeschooled kids is a lack of social skills.  I can't imagine a greater falsehood.  We were in this room for about eight minutes before my children, age seven and nine, shared in the previously all adult discussion.  Sophia turned to a mom that she had never met and said, "If you are worried about your children and socialization, don't because..." and she went on to explain her own reasoning on the subject.  I think what spoke even louder than her words was what she was doing.  She felt as if she had a place in this discussion.  Dominic later offered  his take on how homeschooling, "just makes sense".  Now, you might think that they are parroting what they hear me say, but I promise you, these were their own conclusions. 

They are not alone in this ability to share in public.   Children are on an equal footing with their thoughts and opinions as adults.  I feel honored to have friends of all ages.  My friend Abbie, age 11, frequently asks me questions about how I am doing, what my thoughts are on certain things, or she will share what she thinks about the world at large.  I get to be greeted with hugs from my friend Paris, age 13, and words like, "It is so great to see you!", and I feel the same way.  These are not just my friends' children, but my friends as well.  A young man named Dylan, age 12, was so excited to share what he knew about Tae Kwon Do with both my children and me when we first met in the dorm hallway.  He spoke equally to me and to my kids.  This just warms my heart to see his confidence, and also to be trusted enough to know that I would care about his feelings and ideas.

This isn't the putting the kids on a pedestal that we see as problematic in our society, but at our 'camp' they are given credit for being sentient beings with thoughts and opinions of their own.  When I leave the convention, I take a piece of that with me back to our reality.  You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.  There are a lot of people out there that yearn for the friendships of people on all sides of the proverbial hallway.