Waiting...



I have noticed that I have perfected the habit of Waiting.  I wait for the perfect time to start something, say, marathon training.  I wait to tell someone how much they really mean to me.  I save my favorite clothes for special occasions.  I will call/write that friend when I can really sit down and spend time doing so.  I will make that recipe when we have a dinner party. 
I force my self to wait more often than I realize,  I am now realizing.  The crazy thing is with all of this waiting, I somehow got to be 38 years old.  I know, I am not old, but I thought I was still a kid.
I guess I am officially a grown up. 
About 8 years ago, a dear neighbor of ours died.  Her husband had just retired a month or two before, and they were going to go on a big trip, but they waited.
Every single day is such a gift.  It's trite, but true.  I feel that every time I see "Our Town".
A dear friend said that to keep her spirits up during a really hot run the other night, she told herself how lucky she was just to be able to run.  That's a great perspective.
We are so lucky on so many different levels.
Today, I am going to bask in thankfulness, and I am going to make a commitment to be fully present in the moment.  I don't want to wait, and put off what could be a beautiful moment.  Sorry it's been so long since I posted something, I was waiting until I had something good to say. ;)



Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne

  Good morning!  Truly!  This morning I came downstairs to a fully clean mantle and bookshelf in our den.  Cleaning fairies in the middle of the night?  No, a late night burst of energy and focus from me, supported by my wonderful husband!

I started reading a book entitled Simplicity Parenting about a week ago.  (When my children saw the title, they mocked it by saying, "Why don't you simply let us do whatever we want?")  Ha ha.  I am only through the intro and half of Chapter One, but already a major theme is about the environment of our home.  How much STUFF do we need and what kind of feeling does cluttered create compared to clear and clean?  (how's that for alliteration??) 

As you might know, I did a previous post about TMS  (Too Much Stuff-for lack of a better "S")
There are times when I feel I am drowning in stuff. I have not seen the top of my dresser in years.  It is currently covered in stuffed animals (hiding from Jerry), socks (waiting for a partner), a glass head (for my hats), and I honestly don't even know what else.  But I digress...

Focusing on a step towards less stuff, back to my cleaning moment last night...

Our mantle was full of Lego projects, cough drop wrappers from 1982, headphones for IPods in other rooms, just STUFF!  After cleaning it all off, I truly realized that this is the hearth and heart of our home.  It is the focal point of the whole house!  Do you think I am feeling cleansed this morning, walking downstairs to SPACE instead of STUFF???  Wonderful...the saying that immediately pops into my head is that I can breathe...

I am looking forward to reading the rest of Payne's book.  I understand that Chapter 2 is about creating the space in TIME for ourselves and our children to breathe and to just be.  The idea that is popping up on Clean:LuSa Organics blog bookclub (http://www.lusaorganics.typepad.com/) about it is that we, as parents need to provide the time and opportunity for our children to be able to have space for thought and healing:

"It is not our job to fix what is not working. Our work is to create a nurturing and calm environment, connect with and unconditionally love our hurting child, and allow them to heal."- Rachel Wolf from LuSa Organics referring to the book.

That sounds like a life skill that Tony and I both want for our children.

Peace and clean breathing!

Jessica

P.S. After this, I think my clutter has morphed from stuff to parentheses!  

Worm Tunnel

We made a worm tunnel!
I have wanted to compost forever but was just too lazy or confused, (or is that dazed and confused?) as how to start and how to keep the dogs out.  Then, I saw this YouTube video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIyEQoxgocY

and besides wanting to move next door to this woman, yes in Australia, I thought that this looked doable!  So, follow along to see the evolution of our "chateaux des wormies"!

First, get a Godfather that, when you say, "Hey, I was thinking of making a composting worm tunnel." replies, "I have some PVC tubing and a drill.  Let's do it."

We drilled about 15 holes all around the bottom 2/3 of the PVC pipe.

Then, find a beautiful spot in your garden and dig a hole

that is deep enough to cover all of those worm holes.

I forgot the other important part of the Godfather requirement; 

make sure he has some good manure laying around.

Howard the Steer was our manure producer. 

He did a superb job.  So, PVC tube is in the ground, manure goes in the tube:

Photo credits: Dominic Zappia.  So, manure, then Hey!  Hay!  Sorry...

The kids were more than happy to help with the hay, the manure?  Not so much.

After the hay is the best part of all...

My Godfather said not to waste our money on "compost worms" because they are really 

the same this as red leaf worms.  Our local bait shop had both "red" and "leaf" worms, so 

 I went with the "leaf".  Aren't they beautiful?

Manure, hay, we threw in a bit of dirt, then the WORMS!

Happy worms.  

Now, something that we have been cooking up for our dream worms on our counter...compost!  

My patient husband was a bit grossed out, but this compost was nice and warm on its own!  

When we threw it in, it was steaming!

Yummy!  Well, at least the worms thought so.

Some dry leaves and stems for good measure...hay after that.

And then the question of how to cover it so air can get in, but Jerry and other critters can not.  

For now, Sophia came up with the idea of plastic wrap so we can see what's happening:

Eventually, we are going to get a mesh and a pot to cover up the whole thing, just like my Australian friend recommended.

So there it is!  Our worm tunnel is in the tomato plant section of our garden, so we are hoping for extra juicy tomatoes, fertilized by our wormy buddies. 

One great result of the tunnel thus far is that the kids are eating even more fruits and veggies so that they can run out and feed the peels to the worms! 

We will keep you posted as to how everything turns out.

Oh!  And if you want the deluxe, super-duper worm garden, you have to go back to the Godfather again and ask for a totem animal/night watchman. 

No one messes with our attack bunny!

Happy Spring!

Jessica and Family

Stuck in the Middle, With You!

So, after my last post, it's so good to know that I am not alone!  Many of us are feeling stuck right now.  I have a few blogs that I read religiously, and even one of those is hosting a book club about bringing more Simplicity into one's life. (http://www.lusaorganics.typepad.com/) 
We can feel consumed by our stuff, see my previous post:
http://forlearningoutloud.blogspot.com/2011/04/tms.html
or we can feel stuck within ourselves, just to name a few ways from personal experience.

I know one of the ways for me to feel good down to my toes, is to run away, literally.  I started training for a half marathon last year, probably too early now that I look back.  But there, perfect example-I am stuck in my own thoughts regarding this challenge!  I threw in some negativity for ya.  :/

I find that when I just shut up and run, I feel exhilarated!  Given the space and time to doubt myself though, (say when I have to work and don't have time to go) I am filling that void with negative self-talk.

I am going to pick up a great book I found awhile back and start reading it again-Working Out, Working Within.  Jerry Lynch helps to break down the negative demons that we conjure up for ourselves.
http://www.amazon.com/Working-Out-Within-Jerry-Lynch/dp/0874779685

It kinda comes back to the law of attraction: "I can't make it up this hill", then you can't.  Or, in life, "Life is hard.  I am tired."  It is, and you are. 

A friend of mine just ran the Boston Marathon.  Upon reflection of her race, Amy put it in perspective.  She kept her family and friends that are fighting cancer in her thoughts as she climbed the hills of Boston.  She drew from their strength in a battle for Life, makes running a race feel easier, and it reminds us all that many of our battles are ones of our choosing, if we are lucky.

So, with a renewed sense of determination, I am lessening the battles (that I am lucky enough to even call "battles") raging within my own mind and I am going to hit the pavement for a good run today, even if it is through the snow in April.

Thanks for reading.

Stuck

Lately, I feel Stuck.

With a capital 'S'.

I can blame the April snow, or the hectic nighttime schedule, Tony and I high-fiving each other as he comes home from work, and I go to work.  I can blame lack of sleep, a busy weekend; I don't need to list all of my excuses or I will just live in the 'Stuck' even longer.  (though our newspaper landing in snow dusted dog poop is a good excuse)

I have to get out of the rut.  It's that time of year where everyone is going somewhere but you.   Everyone is saving children in Nepal or curing world hunger but you.  You feel stagnant.  See?  I am projecting it on you!

Okay, thinking positive.  Easter is this Sunday, and that is a new beginning.  It's supposed to hit a balmy 50 degrees some time this week. 

I think I need to feel the Stuck for one more cup of coffee this morning, and then 

get over it.  

TMS!

TOO MUCH STUFF!!

Every Spring I do this.  I look around and scream inside my head, "Where did all of this stuff come from?"  

This same stuff that I defended to my husband all winter long now makes me feel claustrophobic.

Sadly, I did not set up this lovely still life; it is found art, just like this.

I wrestle with myself.  Part of me just wants to load up everything that is not useful and run it over to Goodwill RIGHT NOW.  But the rational part of me knows that we will have a rummage sale again this summer, and our stuff is another person's treasure.  Yada yada yada... 

I do have kiddos that can help, theoretically, with a rummage this summer.  There are so many lessons for them, and me, to learn from a rummage sale.  We sell cookies and lemonade, Dominic is especially good at hawking his wares which he usually gives away in the end because he is such a sweetheart.  That whole process is worth something right?

I can guarantee that these lovelies will not be for sale.  Henry, on the other hand...nah, we will keep him too.   For today, we will just part the Red Sea of stuff in our house.  It's a rainy day and we have a date with the symphony.

{this moment}

{this moment} - Inspired by SouleMama- A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

The first time I am sharing, I am already cheating., but these photos need an explanation. 

No Dominic

No Sophia



The kiddos are sleeping over at a friend's house.  I am usually with my peeps 24-7 (when not working or running, or running to work, or working on my running) so this is a rare occurrence.  So much of how I define myself revolves around who I am with my children.  I say that without self-judgement.  It is what it is right now.  I like 'em, and I love 'em. 

They are supposed to make their beds every morning though.  Hmmmm....

A moment from our lives...